Sta.sh
Steampunk Extravaganza - now til May 18! (And you could submit your story to UFO afterwards 
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And Phase 2 is open to everyone, even if you didn't participate in Phase 1, or decided to change what complaint you'd like to address!
Whatever way you intend to welcome in 2013, I hope you're surrounded by love and that you do it safely!
Fan Art Law
All entries must be created specifically for this contest (uploaded on or after May 10th).
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Co-hosted with =Cassildra What is Saturnalia? It's like Opposite Day hosted by Hedonism Bot with a touch of 'Caligula' (yes, there really are non-ToS violating GIFs of it out there! Click at your own risk).
Anyway, you should probably Wikipedia the actual Roman festival.
The Chat
We've given 100 points each to some lucky Word Wars participants. ~Creativity-Squared, *doodlerTM, and ~Fez98 probably didn't fix our random number generator!
After the Word Wars were some sweet partytimes, centered around George Takei and Ellen Degeneres.
Chat prizes are as follows! 169 points to each of these
- `HaveTales-WillTell for sheer enthusiasm and the best five-word romance we've ever read. I quote: "She. Her. Him. NOT! Them."
- *jamberry-song for bringing enough alcohol for the whole class! (Just kidding, I could've finished it off. And yes, I would be conscious the next day.)
- `cybergranny for typing better English than us!
- =DrippingWords for providing a solution to numb fingers. Please mass-produce those finger-only gloves soon. I NEED THEM. (Also for knowing that a certain chocolate cake would be present in all romance scenes written by Ellen.)
- `IceXDragon for coming up with more ridiculous Muro ideas than I was willing to draw.
- =icefire8521 for proving Muro sketches don't have to be a total disaster! Now that I've bribed you, please make me look good in the future.
Also, 72 points each to `cybergranny and =DrippingWords for reasons we'll never tell. EVER.
Contest Results
Alright, so maybe no one was able to provide us with abs we could feel, but thankfully the Internet has everything these days. Still, we received a number of lovely entries, many written during the Word Wars! This did not stop them from being quite humorous.
Entries (not including the Stashed ones from =DrippingWords and ^Beccalicious):
Gun ControlRandall paused as he looked at his collection of assault rifles and semi automatics. He barely used them but sometimes liked to admire his collection. He thumbed the dust off his favorite rifle, his Rutger 10-22. Randall hadn't used this gun in nearly five years, not since he had proudly taken it to the shooting range. It wasn't the most useful weapon—he had taken it hunting only once, and had misfired. He was still proud of it, though.
The ex-hunter dusted off the rest of his assault rifles and pistols. The thought crossed his mind that maybe he could sell them; after all, he hadn't had any use for them in years. He also thought of going to
Saturnalia word war round IThe food is gone. I saw it happen; I lay in wait in the dark and saw a shadow slink along the wall. It was quiet; almost everyone had gone home for the day. Not me, not yet. I had to know.
For weeks, things had been disappearing. Dearest edibles. The snack bar was pillaged, the break room fridge was stripped clean, even the receptionist's candy bowl was left empty. This must end, I thought. A man must protect his tribe. I decided to lay a trap.
The break room momentarily lit up as the fridge edged open. I heard a rustling around. Slowly, quietly I began creeping over the carpeted floor. Sweat beaded on my forehead. I held the cleaning cl
Saturnalia Word War round III part 2The alleged shooter stood before the bench. Everyone had expected him to plead guilty, but when it came time for it, he looked very honestly at the judge. "I did it, your honor, because I didn't know guns could kill people. I was always told only people kill people."
Stop, Diego, Stop!I suppose it's only natural that when one has chosen the sobriquet Lightning Monkey, one will invite comparisons to Zeus. (I suppose it's better than being mistaken for Dora the Explorer's cousin, but not by much.):thumb345305876:
When I try to explain that in real life, I'm neither simian in appearance (except vaguely) nor capable of thunderbolts (except after some really good chili), my pleas almost always fall upon deaf ears. "Surely, Diego," they say, "with a nickname as cool as that, you must have some sort of awesome superpower!"
Well, the truth is that I do. Except it's less of a superpower, and more of a super obstacle. Y'see, the thing is... I, um
Saturnalia word war round IIIHoney, I'm emailing you my heart. You needn't say anything, or send anything back; I just… I wanted to do it. I've been thinking about it for a while, now. Hope you don't mind. It's a little messy, as hearts tend to be. I thought maybe it would cheer you up, though. Oh, and news of my malpractice suit. Last Valentine's Day? That was nothing, baby. That was a mistake. I got the court papers to prove it; $1.3 million for operating on the wrong body part. That liver? It didn't mean anything. I'm giving you the real deal, now, honey. Here's hoping you'll forgive me. Maybe you'll take me back… I'm all yours, hear t and liver, baby, if you'll have
Before getting to the winners, I'd like to commend ^Beccalicious for coming up with a prophecy the Pythia would totally be jealous of: "When the floods came, nobody was ready; we were too busy emailing shit to each other."
And now....
Runner up: *jamberry-song wins 250 points for kicking politics in the balls.
And the winner, for somehow managing to use the mythos of the Roman holiday in a way that's still humorous to modern readers....
`HaveTales-WillTell with Io Saturnalia! Which does sound like 'Hey Macarena,' it's true. 750 points for your travails, and here's hoping Kronos Saturn doesn't decide to smite you. (You know he gets to supervise the Elysian Fields these days, right?)
Thanks to everyone who participated, we'll see you at our next event! 
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